One week down...

So week one down. and overall I have lost a total of 10.25". Most notably for me was the 3 inches off my waist, and 1.75 inches off my hips. I'm excited about that. I don't weigh in until tomorrow morning.
My energy level has been up. I'm sleeping better. The melatonin is working for now. I haven't taken an actual sleeping pill all week. I'm really hoping for a 5 lb loss when I weigh in tomorrow morining but we will see. I stepped outside my meal plan tonight and had a pumpkin bagel. Its the only time all week I have eaten off plan. We went to TGIFriday's today for lunch, and I was shocked that there was really only 1 choice I could eat on the lean and green plan. None of their salads were ok! I went with a steak and roasted vegetables. I didn't eat the sweet potatoes just the squash. I got 2 sides with my meal and did both as the vegetables. I ate 1/2 the steak they brought out and all the squash. It wasn't quite 2 servings of green. The waitress has probably never been fat in her life--I say this because she stumbled on herself 2 times. She said that the all you can eat soup and salad was a good choice because you can eat a lot. pregnang pause. or not alot if you want. Then later she asked me "was there something wrong with your steak?" I know she asked it because I had only eaten half of it. The thing is I was full. In a nice content way. I didn't want to push down the rest of it. why? I said no it was great. Its a good thing I don't get offended easily! and also a good thing I wasn't leaving the tip! lol. anyway--Korey even noticed. He made a comment about it after we had left the restraunt. She should have asked how I was enjoying my meal, or how was the steak?
It annoys me but doesn't offend me if that makes sense. There are a lot of overweight people, and I think that it has become more of a norm than it should be. However being overweight has made me realize that skinny people who haven't ever dealt with weight issues can be really insensitive about what they are saying. I know I used to be very judgemental about it. If you're fat its your fault, eat less and work out more.
The formula is correct. Its just when you start adding in all the emotional factors, and lack of education about what fuel for our bodies is about--
Today I made a consious choice to eat a bagel. I knew it was off plan. I decided to mindfully enjoy it as a treat, to let myself have it and not guilt myself about it. and that made it easy to take real pleasure out of eating a pumpkin bagel instead of looking down and thinking what the crap? I ate that? I don't even remember eating it, I should have another one. I ate it slowly and mindfully. I knew if I was going to deviate from my meal plan I had better take the time to really enjoy it.
I learned something in that moment. I knew that if I had berated myself or tried to make me feel guilty about it I would be more likely to go binge--eat the rest of the bagels in the bad and really throw off my eating plan.
In one week I've only had that one item not on my meal plan.
compared to how I was eating before?
night and day.
now its just one week but its the first brick in a new foundation. the more weeks I lay down these healthy habits and healthy choices the stronger that foundation will get to make sure that they are life changes. That I learn what contentment and true enjoyment of eating my food is.
When I shove a whole hamburger friens and large drink into my body I don't take time to just enjoy the food. I inhale it and then I feel gross and overstuffed. I was thinking about how I stayed as thin as I did in college even when I ate out. I relished my food. I enjoyed the savory bites--and I stopped when I felt content. so I would eat half a hamburger and a couple of fries. I drank more water.
When we first got Leo I remember I used to eat half a sandwich and feed him the other half. I took time to think about what I was eating, and how it felt in my mouth, the textures of it, the flavors of it--
I'm getting back to that. I've really been enjoying the lean and green meals especially. I love fresh produce and my greens are always so good. I didn't know I liked fresh green beans, but I do.
Its a journey--a process of learning and re-teaching myself about what food is. Its fuel. It can be for pleasure and enjoyable, but to take the time to truly enjoy it and as i do that my body has natural cues that tell me when it is content.
So week one down. Lets see how many pounds down tomorrow.

Danger Zone

I'm in the danger zone. I know this. I've known it for a while. Sister Cindy has been motivating and encouraging, and I've signed up to do "Take Shape For Life" with her as my health coach. The program utilizes Medifast. I'm ready to make some serious changes. I truly do plan to be at my goal weight of 135 by my birthday in May. 135 at 35! wohoo!!

I'm ready for the life changes I need to get back to a healthy weight. The part I am most excited about is that I will be doing 6 meals. (no not because I get to eat 6 times...) I actually forget to eat. Getting myself in a routine and building a habit of eating 6 small meals throughout the day is going to be really key for me. So is regular checking in with Cindy, and with myself. Support, critical. That is why this blog will be more important to me than ever. Every week on Friday night I will post my new pictures for the week. I'll be checking in with Cindy on Saturday mornings with my weight and measurements.

I have to admit I am nervous about starting a true "diet"

I've never bought food/products from a diet company. So it is venturing into the unknown. All I have done before is tracking and watching what I eat, which has worked before. I was looking at photos of the last time I regularly took photos of myself for weight loss, the year Min-Ji lived here. I was so skinny! I forgot I had gotten that skinny. Well this time I am going to get to that point and then keep going to my goal.

135 @35!!!