Getting Real...again...

Well I'm bitting the bullet and posting my pictures front back and side views. not pretty but the reality of where I am. the one thing that stands out most to me is my legs. My calves are tight and toned and it shows up in the picture. I've been losing inches in my legs mostly--a little in my arms--and NOTHING in my stomach. wich actually serves to make me feel FATTER. because my belly sticks out more.
Cindy and I have found scar tissue buildup from my gall bladder surgery so we are working on that right now whch could be part of the deal.
Anyway, my goal is to drop 42 pounds before I fly to Sweden in July. I have plenty of time to do it. I can do it. I want to do it and it gives me a good goal to work for.  I will be under 200 before flying to Sweden.
When I get home I have to get my new military ID issued. (or just before I leave) so it is a good double goal to be in that place with my weight.
I plan to be up there on that roof helping out and making myself useful not just around the house, but on the house. :)
I am also looking forward to a summer of camping and hiking and not having my weight be an issue that slows me down. Not this time. Never again.
I don't have grand ambitions of running a marathon. I do want to do some more 5 K's. I really enjoyed doing that with Cindy. and walking is good for me. :) I don't enjoy running so why not just do what I love?
Korey and I have talked about going back to Hawaii for our 10 year anniversary. Well, that is coming up in 2013. When we go I want to be scuba certified so that I can go scuba diving in Hawaii. I also want to go parasailing behind a boat. I'm excited for those adventures. Korey and I both plan on having motorcycle licenses here in the next couple of years and I want to be strong and healthy to truly benefit from that as well.
I'm looking forward to a year of challenging my fears, facing them, and conquering them. I don't need to live in fear of the next illness. or of not setting dreams or goals because I might have to move and give it all up. its not like wantint the part of Liza Doolittle in a play, being told its mine and then having to go back and say I'm sorry my family is moving I won't be here to do that. and never trying for a part in a school play again...just in case. I didn't want to have to walk away. So instead I shut down.
Too often the message that came across was if you weren't a boy you weren't up to go shooting with Dad. You weren't up for hiking or camping. The years I was at home were not the ones that mom pushed so much and went camping with the kids anyway on her own.
I don't know if you can keep up.
that seemed to be the message. I'd say I can, I know I can. but it didn't matter. Even now, its the "boys" go shooting and the girls stay home with the kids.
So this year when it comes to paint balling--I'm in. When it comes to bowling. I'm in. When it comes to shooting. I'm in. I want to LIVE my life. not just sit by and let it pass me over. I know that my weight represents protection and fear. Protecting myself from change and fear of having to live the life I have always wanted for myself. well I'm ready to live.
So be watching for some big big changes. and please keep supporting and caring for me through the journey.